Pandemonium

Realizing something was amiss (her address), that considerate woman spammed me today. Again.

Please note that my correct e-mail address is adriana_lesova@hotmail.com

Be careful. :)

P.

PS: Another address for our friend: adriana_lesova@macroconsulting.com

I received the following message this morning:

I am contacting your company because I have been working as a freelance translator for nearly five years and would like to offer my services to additional translation agencies.

I translate from French into English and also provide proofreading and editing services.

Do you require translators to complete an application form? Do you require tests or samples? What range of rates do you typically pay?

Colleagues of mine may also want to offer their services to your agency. What other languages do you require.

Please let me know if you would like to me send my curriculum vitae.

Thank you for your interest.

Best regards,

Adriana Lesova
French - English Freelance Translator
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
E-mail adriana_lesova@videotron.ca

I am used to receiving this type of messages asking for jobs (someone put me right in the middle of a directory, or so it seems), so I’ve answered the following:

Please, do check my web site, right where it says: “I work exclusively into Spanish, my mother tongue“. That means I do not outsource.

Best of luck,

P.
———————–
Pilar T. Bayle
Traductora EN-ES Translator

And then I’ve received the following message from my server:

This is the mail system at host hl20.dinaserver.com.

I’m sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It’s attached below.

For further assistance, please send mail to postmaster.

If you do so, please include this problem report. You can delete your own text from the attached returned message.

The mail system

: host mx.videotron.ca[24.201.245.37] said: 550 5.1.1 unknown or illegal alias: adriana_lesova@videotron.ca (in reply to RCPT TO command)

So I’ve started googling. That «adriana» sends viruses. Please, be careful.

P.

Time seems to last longer these days. Hours seem to plot to slow down their seconds, and everything seems to move in slow motion, as in an aquarium. Maybe I am already feeling impatient because my cast will come off on July 24, two weeks before they said.

Still, things happen, as the landing of the iPhone in Spain, that became known as the iBrick since the iTunes servers to activate them are down. :)

I also saw a very interesting, very sad documentary. It’s called “The Bridge” and it’s a daily recording of the Golden Gate, place favored by people who desire to commit suicide, that we see jumping off the bridge.

I ascertain the huge pain suffered by those who stay behind. Also, I seem to perceive remorse for the action taken, once it’s too late. It’s tragic and totally sad.

Just a quick note: I am starting to notice an improvement in my bad leg, the one affected by the B12 deficiency…

P.

In case my B12 deficiency was not enough, I raised the bar on Friday, by several yards… My left ankle is broken, the one in my good leg, that now it’s the worse leg.

I still have shots, although now I am getting anticoagulants (heparin) instead of B12, and this time they are daily shots in my belly. I am having B12 in sublingual tablets and hope for the miracle of being fine when the cast comes off.

Call it virtuosity or whatever you like, but I also managed to break my ankle by myself, at home, without taking any impulse, without jumping, without falling from a height. I was standing next to the door, ready to step out. I took a step back to swing the door open, lost my grasp of the handle, lost my balance, fell and landed on my leg.

Good thing is that they didn’t have to manipulate my fracture, because it was totally clean, without displacement. So they got it into a cast and that’s it!

Six weeks of full rest (I sleep a lot, until I get fed up of sleeping): I am resting, I am watching “The West Wing” again (almost done with the 5th season) and I am back to reading again… After all, every cloud has a silver lining…

P.

The bridge exists. It’s not just a dream even though it seems to vanish in mid air amidst clouds, fog and pollution. It’s in Harbin, China. (See I Feel Vindicated)

:) B12 still suits me better than fine.

P.

We have started this week with a general strike of transportation, that joined the existing strike of fishermen, that started last week.

This afternoon markets were still well stocked, since it was just the first day of the strike… I have gone to the supermarket to pick up a couple of things and people seemed stressed and panicky, as if fearing a shortage of food. In my case, as my husband said: “You bought things you had a whim for, not something you really needed”. And but for a couple of things, he was totally right.

The fish shop was closed. I guess they sold out all the stock they had and then they had to close their doors. Nevertheless, I have enough fish, meat and greens at home, both in my fridge and in the freezer.

All those years that I lived in the US, fearing getting cut off by the snow have paid off: They developed my don’t-buy-just-one philosophy.

I hope it won’t be too hard on all of us. I hope it will be solved soon (in favor of truckers). I hope prices won’t go up again, they are already too high (a gallon of milk is more expensive than a gallon of gas… Go figure!).

P.

Or so they say. Nevertheless, the only one who experiences bliss is the poor ignorant who doesn’t even perceive the need to learn. The people around just experience a certain desire to ring his or her neck.

Today I am going to be a little bit nasty with translators, group in which I include myself. Everyday, I see problems among my colleagues, who show a certain degree of ignorance and too much daring when facing translations. So, let’s repeat some whopping great truths, that are basic and crucial if we want to project a professional image.

1. We must behave properly in professional mailing lists. We cannot be cute and greet everyone, and then forget to provide context or to check the most common dictionaries. When we ask for help, we must facilitate the job to those who provide it. We must write proper messages, and that means no orthographical mistakes, for instance… We should show some command of our mother tongue, at least to be taken seriously. We should also abide by the rules of the list. We should not EVER forget that some of the list readers are agencies and can offer us a translation.

2. We have to avoid translating into a different language from our mother tongue at all costs. Yeah, yeah, I know you are truly fluent in Spanish, sure, but no matter how fluent you are, it’ll never be your mother tongue, and verb tenses will prove the foreigner you are in 2 seconds flat.

3. We all have to go through a learning process; none of us was born knowing a bunch of things. So it is not weird to translate things that we have a scant knowledge about. What we cannot do is to accost someone with a list containing 100 words, for example. In order to defeat our ignorance and learn (our ultimate goal, I believe), we can do the following: a) find an organism in our country equivalent to the one that overviews what we are going to translate, and read a few documents to get a flair for the language; b) find a good proofreader whose specialty is our topic and pay for his/her services.

4. Let’s not take in too much work. Some times I read some statements that leave me totally flabbergasted, such as “I translate 7,000 words daily, technical texts”. Come on! Review what you do. If it is technical, and you want to do a GOOD job, you won’t go beyond 2,500 words daily, and that’s already a lot.

5. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. So do NOT lower your rates as if this were a flea market. I know there are many guys that would have no scruples trying to make a profit from you, but there are also very good clients. So, DO your homework and find good clients. Do not be afraid to ask for higher rates; there’s always time to negotiate if needed.

6. We should experience certain reserve about asking terminology in public. It’s good to ask for help and I certainly do it from time to time. But one thing is to ask for help, and a very different thing is to prove the world that you have not bothered to do a proper search, or that you don’t know how to. For example, use the “define:xxxx” function provided by Google. This way you’ll know the exact meaning of a word, so that you can request precisely what you need in your language.

It seems I am done for now. If you have any suggestion, I’ll be happy to reopen this issue.

P.

My 17″ TFT screen has just died after 5 long years of dutiful service. Suddenly, it started flashing (now you see, now you don’t) and that’s it!

Fortunately, I received my last computer yesterday. I confess I don’t care about the latest cell phone, or the most advanced photo or video camera, or anything like it, but I die for computers: More or less, when I buy, I always have the latest and most advanced hardware; software is another thing altogether, and I don’t change programs unless the new ones have been properly tested, you can trust them, and they are rid of quirks. For instance, I still use my Office 2000 to its full potential, knowing nothing bad will happen with it.

My new computer has 4GB of RAM, a 500GB hard drive, and quad processor. Now you have an idea of what I mean, I guess. And with my computer, I also received a beautiful 19″ TFT screen. So I switched screens and I am still working with my old CPU, until I run it away from my desktop this coming weekend.

P.

I changed neurologists (I didn’t like the previous one) and was able to get an appointment for May 14, instead of the original one I had for October 30. Spain is a country well known for its long waiting lists…

When I crossed the door into her office, she asked for a few minutes while she reviewed my records. First thing she said was “Low B12, huh?”

She looked at all my MRIs, she did some tests on her own, she was nice, but above all she ordered a B12 substitution treatment. The way it works is injections for quite a bit until they raise the levels of B12 in your body, and then injections basically become chronic (once a month). This week, I have daily injections.

Although she pointed out I will take about 6 months to feel totally fine, I start feeling much better: I feel more energized, I tire out less, I walk with more stability, several mechanic functions have become regulated, my skin looks fresher and better… Obviously, I was dying for some B12.

Something that has knocked me out cold is dreaming again. In fact, I saw the image of a Chinese bridge that led into thick fog/dense pollution. I was convinced I had seen it in the news, so I was looking for it to show it to my husband (it was very eye-catching: the bridge seemed to disappear in mid air). Then I realized it was just a dream. I was looking for it all day long and I could not find it. It was not in Google, it was not in my Internet History. it was just nowhere, vanished in the fog that cut through it.

P.

I read yesterday a complaint about a good client that stopped being good: Payment for the last couple of invoices is overdue by two or three months. The author of the message asks for ideas/advice to get paid. The agency is located in the US so it is not feasible to wait for the owner at the door.

There were several ideas, some quite soft, some a little bit harsher, but what knocked me off my socks was the author’s reaction: He doesn’t want to denounce this agency to the Better Business Bureau or post an unfavorable review at any of the payment practices lists because the agency is a good client and pays good rates, although it is not answering his mails demanding payment…

Let’s review something very basic: What’s a good client?

Good clients depend on the translator and the agency/direct client. Together, they’ll reach a consensus on several key points.

1. Rates
I read quite often the following: “He is a good client, but rates are low”… No, no, no. Rates depend on the translator, his/her savoir-faire to negotiate them, and his/her desire to accept whatever s/he is offered. Let me explain what I mean: If I ask for 10, get offered 6, and I take it , those low rates are to be blamed on me exclusively. When I am offered low rates, I always have an ace up my sleeve: “Thank you very much, but no, thank you”. I know some translators feel sick at the thought of saying no, but guess what: You need to learn how to say NO.

2. Payment
Good clients are also defined by their payment policy. It is important they follow their own policies, so that I can trust I have my money in the bank to pay my mortgage or my car. I personally give my clients net 30, which is the most common terms, but I don’t mind accepting net 45 if the agency is fine-tuned that way. Besides payment periods, we need to know whether they prefer an invoice per project, a monthly invoice… With newer clients, I usually issue an invoice per project; with clients I know well, I issue monthly invoices or invoices when I reach a minimum amount.

3. Treatment
After the two previous considerations, treatment is a deal breaker for me: Are they nice? Are deadlines reasonable? Are projects interesting? It is important to collaborate with someone who is nice, helps you solve terminology problems, and is genuinely interested in the quality of your work.

For me, these three conditions are sine qua non. If any of them is missing, the likelihood of collaborating with that client evaporates, because our relationships with clients are based on trust. This doesn’t mean a good client may get behind with payment, that’s quite common. What’s truly devastating is that they don’t bother to reply to your mails inquiring about the delay.

P.

Going to bars has become very boring since I have an acupuncturist concerned for my well being. I don’t order coffee with milk, but machine-made decaffeinated coffee with milk (the other choice, powder à la Nestle is not for me). And what about coke? It has become room-temperature coke. Nevertheless, what pisses me off is the waitress asking: “With ice?” This question has made me wonder, and I’ve reached the conclusion that there is a band of marauders wandering around in Madrid, who prefer the watery-flavored coke that has been chilled by the ice in the glass…

Please, let me answer: NO! I DON’T want any ice!

I read yesterday in one of my history magazines that they have finally discovered the composition of Mayan blue (yeah, that blue that Mel Gibson never ran out of in “Apocalyto”).

Weekend full of surprises for Renault. When everybody started thinking the season was lost, Alonso got a sweet second place on the starting grid… I’d like to remind those of you who underestimate Renault that the first two world championships Michael (Schumacher, yeah) won happened in cars with Renault engines (Williams Renault and Benetton Renault). So, get rid of the idea that Renault is a newbie and doesn’t know what’s doing. To top it all, they must have made really good promises, because Alonso actually glows. :D

P.

Two weeks ago, I saw “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” again. It’s not a great movie at all, but it was handy and it didn’t require too much thinking. Sometimes you can find something truly redeeming in this type of movies. In this case, the gem is the sentence Vince Vaughn utters when he is awoken by the people who are asking him to kill his friend: “I don’t get out of bed for less than”…

The idea we must make ours is not the million dollars or whatever ridiculous price he quotes, but the minimum conditions we must have discussed and agreed upon before switching the computer on to do a job for any client.

Before we sit at the desk, in front of our computer, we must have discussed and agreed upon the following:

1. Rates
2. Word count for the job
3. Delivery deadline
4. Payment method and deadline
5. The way we may ask linguistic questions

I know it sounds appallingly basic, but because it’s a basic part of our job, we should always take into account these minimum conditions that must be always present before we start working.

I want to add a last piece of advice: don’t you EVER take a job on a Friday afternoon for a new client. It simply spells disaster… :)

P.

I DON’T need House any longer, almost certain. What’s causing all my troubles couldn’t be simpler, though they couldn’t tell for my age: Vitamin B12 deficiency, that’s all.

Since I’ve been reading about B12, here you are some advice:

1. If you have had part of your intestines removed, have your B12 checked from time to time.

2. After 50, have your B12 checked from time to time.

3. If you have tremors, or you feel unbalanced, etc., before they talk about senile dementia or Alzheimer’s, have your B12 checked…

It’s that important, seriously, even though we only need a couple of MICROgrams per day.

It’s great to be back among the living. :D

P.

PS: This was a clear case of hearing hooves and thinking of zebras…

I still have problems. I am still pain-free, I am still seeing my acupuncturist, I am still partial to fish, I am still smoke-free… But I still have this weakening of “my lower extremities” (nasty medical way of saying legs).

Yesterday I lost my last big hope of getting better quickly. I went to see a good chiropractor that, after checking my MRIs, told me that my problem is not in my back, but it’s neurological in origin.

Sometimes I dream of House, and it’s not even a raunchy dream… :(

P.

A new year has just begun and, like always, I’ll suffer from temporary memory loss upon writing dates that will take me back to 2007. This only happens for a few weeks. :)

Fortunately, last year is over and, for a while; I can entertain the idea that this new year won’t be as treacherous as last one… At least, some things have changed. They were not my New Year resolutions, since I introduced those changes back in December: I don’t smoke, I don’t eat meat, I don’t drink coffee, I don’t have cold beverages, I don’t date nasty men… :D

Here you are a true representation of my feelings about going back to work…

P.

OK, OK, so it’s not crystal clear, huh? Fine! HINT: Don’t they seem to be running away FROM something?

P.

PS: It’s my hand, indeed!

Most of the time, we think ourselves Superman or Wonder Woman, but I want to tell you something that has happened to me so that you’ll take it easy…

Last May my right leg started feeling funny (loss of strength, for example). Things got worse when my aunt died in June. Since then, I am a woman without a purpose… I’ve lost my balance and coordination due to stress, unless the neurologist I’ll finally see in January says otherwise. They call it Nerve Dysfunction and it doesn’t hurt: It just makes you look like a constant drunk.

I am seeing a Chinese acupuncturist who has been treating me for three weeks. I am feeling better. :) According to her, my spleen meridian is really bad (don’t ask, I have no idea what she means).

The first thing she did was checking my 29 pulses, and then started working with the needles. I must admit that for a couple of hours, three times a week, I relax completely, although I resemble a porcupine.

Thanks to this “low” period, I’ve learnt the true value of peace and quiet. Don’t you forget it!

P.

November is over and it leaves behind the stale topic of rates. This time it has nothing to do with specific numbers or price dumping, but rather with something basic and essential: who establishes rates.

I am quite fed up of listening to people judging the quality of agencies on the rates they offer. And this kind of talk is not bad per se, but it crashes frontally with the mentality translators should have: We are companies and nobody should dictate rates to us; we establish rates.

None of us goes to market and offers a price to the fishmonger**, do you? “I give you 4.50 euros per pound for that beautiful tuna steak, deal?” If I did it to my fishmonger, who sells it for 6 euros, I am sure his laughter would echo in the neighborhood.

So this is the first lesson for all translators, newbies and veterans: We must adopt a corporate mentality. It is us who fix the rates, not the agencies we deal with.

P.

**Following my acupuncturist’s advice, I said goodbye to all types of meat 10 days ago. Now I only eat fish. :)

I took this pic 4 days ago, from my window.

Until that moment, our Fall was the mildest you may imagine. The trees were slowly changing colors, holding all their leaves.

Suddenly, upon waking up that day, I saw the floor carpeted in yellow, the sky was gray, and it felt cold. Since then, I’ve been using my Winter coat again and Madrid remains overcast.

P.

PS: I’m feeling better, so I decided to end my exile.

I am going to take a rest from Pandemonium. I won’t be writing until the Spring for personal reasons. I need to focus on other things and I need to get my levels of stress down for a while, since I’ve had quite a lot for the past few months (and my body is showing signs of it, of course).

We’ll meet again in a few months. Have a splendid time until then.

P.

I thought times were looking bleak for culture in Spain. Nevertheless, what I just read made me feel totally baffled:

The British Government has removed Winston Churchill from the list of figures to be studied in high school. In the guide companion to the school curriculum, neither Hitler, Stalin, nor Gandhi appear so far. […]

Historia y vida, number 475, page 9

What are they after? Deleting a good chunk of history from the 20th century that explains some of the 21st? Do they mean to forget the Holocaust and the Soviet purges (Stalin was known as “Photoshop’s father”, for he had teams of people devoted to touching up photos to delete the image of those fallen from favor)?

I always thought we were condemned to repeat our errors, but this is far worse. I hope students will get V for Vendetta as mandatory reading, to be able to recognize what they are facing.

P.

I had a good laugh!

P.

They say flying has always been one of Man’s dreams. I believe this dream has become smaller with all the technological advances in the 20th century. Nowadays we fly in groups or alone, crossing oceans and continents with surprising ability and speed.

The truth is that we often raise our eyes to the sky following the flight of birds (by the way, a vulture appeared yesterday near Real Madrid’s stadium).

Flying is becoming more of a common place for me. But what truly moves me is the possibility of space, that I’ll never see fulfilled. I often watch Star Trek and I believe what I see for a few seconds.

Same thing happens with Galaxy Quest, a movie that makes me laugh quite a bit and hold my breath in awe when they open doors to send the interstellar pod.

This is just nostalgia for unadulterated spaces.

P.

It’ been a couple of weeks without writing, not because I didn’t want to, but because I had too much work. I finished yesterday and I slept like a baby last night. Before I turn to my new project, here you are something that has been haunting me for a few weeks.

From “Doing Business in Argentina” by Teddy Bengtsson, on page 15 in the Guide to South America 2007.

Hey, it seems middlemen want a bigger piece of the cake! Please, do not allow, ANY OF YOU, to be dictated your conditions and rates. I am speechless!

P.

Quite an atypical Summer. Only a couple of weeks were truly unbearable. Last night I felt cold and this morning I had to use a blanket.

I am sure I’ll sound vain and superficial, but this warming is quite bearable, more so than when we didn’t have it 30 years ago and I still could see 116 °F (47 °C) in the thermometer…

P.