Pandemonium

:) Ho, ho, ho!

They did a spinal tap and tests came back NEGATIVE (I asked three times, so I’m certain). So, I don’t suffer from MS (Multiple Sclerosis), just a catastrophic B12 deficiency.

After so many hypochondriac tales and so much money wasted, B12 rules, my particular Occam’s razor…

In my future, more shots (at least one monthly) and loads of patience, because we are talking about an 18-to-20-month recovery and it’s been only 14. B12-deficit recovery is usually much faster, but in my case all alarm systems failed, so I’ve been breaking up for 5 years before starting treatment.

Patience! (It’s a virtue, so they say…)

(I am sorry you haven’t heard a peep, but I was not feeling great… :) I feel much better now, and I feel vindicated!)

I truly believe health is the only thing you actually need to fight for all is worth it: love, justice, work… So, lots of health to all of you and guts to fight for the rest. :)

P.

Still here, fighting. I don’t write (at all) because my hands are awakening to sensations and typing feels cumbersome. My handwriting starts looking better. :)

Latest news:

- I have been in treatment for 3.5 months. (My neurologist said I’d need 6.)
- I’m recovering strength in my legs and I walk better.
- Still going for my B12 shot every Friday.
- I am totally bored.
- I don’t read too much. (I finished yesterday the 2nd volume of Flash Gordon.)
- It’s truly cold.
- I sleep and rest quite a bit.
- I have read that low levels of B12 are linked to depression.
- :) Did I tell you I am truly bored?

Hang in there. I hope to return with the new year.

P.

I’ve reached an impasse. The only thing I can do now is to will time to go by quickly. I am doing my homework in the meantime:

1. I am still going for my weekly B12 shot (I’ve got my balance back)… :)

4. On the 29th, I hope to go out for dinner with my husband and some friends. It’s been too many months in my cage.

At least, I have fun with my TV. I bought my husband a box-set of “The Sopranos” (FULL!). I see the episodes in English (I have some advantage over him) and then we watch it together in Spanish. A good TV series… I love it!

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Richard Wright has died, one of the people I truly admired in the music world.

Just by his name you may not know who I am talking about. But if I say that Pink Floyd was never the same after he left, you’ll know I am talking about one of the brains behind the band, whose last contribution was “The Wall”.

Taking about Pink Floyd means traveling down memory lane back to when I was 15 (1977), when I bought my first album of the group (for the amazing amount of nearly 1,80 euros). That record is still my favorite among theirs even although it is not considered one of the great ones. I am talking about “Animals”. And I still remember the lyrics.

I also remember watching “Live at Pompeii” on TV my first year at college.

Pink Floyd taught me English, the vocabulary nobody bothered to teach me: razor blade, tourniquet, cop…

And thanks to Pink Floyd, I also ended laughing my head off with my mother a few times, like that time she entered my room to look through the window and see the helicopter that seemed to hover over the house. It was just “The Wall”, really loud.

I saw Pink Floyd in concert at the end of the 80’s, at the Silverdome in Pontiac, but Wright and Waters had already left and their trademark sound was missing…

Pink Floyd is still my nightstand music, the music I can always count on, like “Wish You Were Here”…

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Until I play with the new template, we are condemned to this one… :(

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Taken from a Spanish newspaper. It literally says:

Held onto a pole to avoid being blown away.
Ike lashes against Galveston

Under this title, and seeing this pic, we expect the worst. We are moved to believe that this guy is holding onto a lamppost (or whatever) for dear life…

Then, if you start analyzing the pic, you see the guy is “playing flag”… How do I know? It’s simple:

1. The water at his feet is not enraged, and it does not follow the direction of his body. In fact it is actually taking a perpendicular line to the flag boy. :)
2. His top arm, the way it is curled around the pole, the way that index finger is pointing to the ground…
3. That bottom arm, bent into the stomach to support his body weight…

And then a few more details Spanish visitors have pointed out:

1. The calm trees in the background
2. His dry T-shirt, his unruly hair…
3. Who is steady enough to take a perfect pic???

We have been taken, as simple as that.

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I still have to iron out a few things, but here you are the new theme I’ve chosen for visual impact and readability. I hope to be back in the saddle writing next week, so exercise your patience (liberally, if I may say so).

Have a lovely weekend!

P.

Time seems to last longer these days. Hours seem to plot to slow down their seconds, and everything seems to move in slow motion, as in an aquarium. Maybe I am already feeling impatient because my cast will come off on July 24, two weeks before they said.

Still, things happen, as the landing of the iPhone in Spain, that became known as the iBrick since the iTunes servers to activate them are down. :)

I also saw a very interesting, very sad documentary. It’s called “The Bridge” and it’s a daily recording of the Golden Gate, place favored by people who desire to commit suicide, that we see jumping off the bridge.

I ascertain the huge pain suffered by those who stay behind. Also, I seem to perceive remorse for the action taken, once it’s too late. It’s tragic and totally sad.

Just a quick note: I am starting to notice an improvement in my bad leg, the one affected by the B12 deficiency…

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In case my B12 deficiency was not enough, I raised the bar on Friday, by several yards… My left ankle is broken, the one in my good leg, that now it’s the worse leg.

I still have shots, although now I am getting anticoagulants (heparin) instead of B12, and this time they are daily shots in my belly. I am having B12 in sublingual tablets and hope for the miracle of being fine when the cast comes off.

Call it virtuosity or whatever you like, but I also managed to break my ankle by myself, at home, without taking any impulse, without jumping, without falling from a height. I was standing next to the door, ready to step out. I took a step back to swing the door open, lost my grasp of the handle, lost my balance, fell and landed on my leg.

Good thing is that they didn’t have to manipulate my fracture, because it was totally clean, without displacement. So they got it into a cast and that’s it!

Six weeks of full rest (I sleep a lot, until I get fed up of sleeping): I am resting, I am watching “The West Wing” again (almost done with the 5th season) and I am back to reading again… After all, every cloud has a silver lining…

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The bridge exists. It’s not just a dream even though it seems to vanish in mid air amidst clouds, fog and pollution. It’s in Harbin, China. (See I Feel Vindicated)

:) B12 still suits me better than fine.

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We have started this week with a general strike of transportation, that joined the existing strike of fishermen, that started last week.

This afternoon markets were still well stocked, since it was just the first day of the strike… I have gone to the supermarket to pick up a couple of things and people seemed stressed and panicky, as if fearing a shortage of food. In my case, as my husband said: “You bought things you had a whim for, not something you really needed”. And but for a couple of things, he was totally right.

The fish shop was closed. I guess they sold out all the stock they had and then they had to close their doors. Nevertheless, I have enough fish, meat and greens at home, both in my fridge and in the freezer.

All those years that I lived in the US, fearing getting cut off by the snow have paid off: They developed my don’t-buy-just-one philosophy.

I hope it won’t be too hard on all of us. I hope it will be solved soon (in favor of truckers). I hope prices won’t go up again, they are already too high (a gallon of milk is more expensive than a gallon of gas… Go figure!).

P.

I changed neurologists (I didn’t like the previous one) and was able to get an appointment for May 14, instead of the original one I had for October 30. Spain is a country well known for its long waiting lists…

When I crossed the door into her office, she asked for a few minutes while she reviewed my records. First thing she said was “Low B12, huh?”

She looked at all my MRIs, she did some tests on her own, she was nice, but above all she ordered a B12 substitution treatment. The way it works is injections for quite a bit until they raise the levels of B12 in your body, and then injections basically become chronic (once a month). This week, I have daily injections.

Although she pointed out I will take about 6 months to feel totally fine, I start feeling much better: I feel more energized, I tire out less, I walk with more stability, several mechanic functions have become regulated, my skin looks fresher and better… Obviously, I was dying for some B12.

Something that has knocked me out cold is dreaming again. In fact, I saw the image of a Chinese bridge that led into thick fog/dense pollution. I was convinced I had seen it in the news, so I was looking for it to show it to my husband (it was very eye-catching: the bridge seemed to disappear in mid air). Then I realized it was just a dream. I was looking for it all day long and I could not find it. It was not in Google, it was not in my Internet History. it was just nowhere, vanished in the fog that cut through it.

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Going to bars has become very boring since I have an acupuncturist concerned for my well being. I don’t order coffee with milk, but machine-made decaffeinated coffee with milk (the other choice, powder à la Nestle is not for me). And what about coke? It has become room-temperature coke. Nevertheless, what pisses me off is the waitress asking: “With ice?” This question has made me wonder, and I’ve reached the conclusion that there is a band of marauders wandering around in Madrid, who prefer the watery-flavored coke that has been chilled by the ice in the glass…

Please, let me answer: NO! I DON’T want any ice!

I read yesterday in one of my history magazines that they have finally discovered the composition of Mayan blue (yeah, that blue that Mel Gibson never ran out of in “Apocalyto”).

Weekend full of surprises for Renault. When everybody started thinking the season was lost, Alonso got a sweet second place on the starting grid… I’d like to remind those of you who underestimate Renault that the first two world championships Michael (Schumacher, yeah) won happened in cars with Renault engines (Williams Renault and Benetton Renault). So, get rid of the idea that Renault is a newbie and doesn’t know what’s doing. To top it all, they must have made really good promises, because Alonso actually glows. :D

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I DON’T need House any longer, almost certain. What’s causing all my troubles couldn’t be simpler, though they couldn’t tell for my age: Vitamin B12 deficiency, that’s all.

Since I’ve been reading about B12, here you are some advice:

1. If you have had part of your intestines removed, have your B12 checked from time to time.

2. After 50, have your B12 checked from time to time.

3. If you have tremors, or you feel unbalanced, etc., before they talk about senile dementia or Alzheimer’s, have your B12 checked…

It’s that important, seriously, even though we only need a couple of MICROgrams per day.

It’s great to be back among the living. :D

P.

PS: This was a clear case of hearing hooves and thinking of zebras…

I still have problems. I am still pain-free, I am still seeing my acupuncturist, I am still partial to fish, I am still smoke-free… But I still have this weakening of “my lower extremities” (nasty medical way of saying legs).

Yesterday I lost my last big hope of getting better quickly. I went to see a good chiropractor that, after checking my MRIs, told me that my problem is not in my back, but it’s neurological in origin.

Sometimes I dream of House, and it’s not even a raunchy dream… :(

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A new year has just begun and, like always, I’ll suffer from temporary memory loss upon writing dates that will take me back to 2007. This only happens for a few weeks. :)

Fortunately, last year is over and, for a while; I can entertain the idea that this new year won’t be as treacherous as last one… At least, some things have changed. They were not my New Year resolutions, since I introduced those changes back in December: I don’t smoke, I don’t eat meat, I don’t drink coffee, I don’t have cold beverages, I don’t date nasty men… :D

Here you are a true representation of my feelings about going back to work…

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OK, OK, so it’s not crystal clear, huh? Fine! HINT: Don’t they seem to be running away FROM something?

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PS: It’s my hand, indeed!

Most of the time, we think ourselves Superman or Wonder Woman, but I want to tell you something that has happened to me so that you’ll take it easy…

Last May my right leg started feeling funny (loss of strength, for example). Things got worse when my aunt died in June. Since then, I am a woman without a purpose… I’ve lost my balance and coordination due to stress, unless the neurologist I’ll finally see in January says otherwise. They call it Nerve Dysfunction and it doesn’t hurt: It just makes you look like a constant drunk.

I am seeing a Chinese acupuncturist who has been treating me for three weeks. I am feeling better. :) According to her, my spleen meridian is really bad (don’t ask, I have no idea what she means).

The first thing she did was checking my 29 pulses, and then started working with the needles. I must admit that for a couple of hours, three times a week, I relax completely, although I resemble a porcupine.

Thanks to this “low” period, I’ve learnt the true value of peace and quiet. Don’t you forget it!

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I took this pic 4 days ago, from my window.

Until that moment, our Fall was the mildest you may imagine. The trees were slowly changing colors, holding all their leaves.

Suddenly, upon waking up that day, I saw the floor carpeted in yellow, the sky was gray, and it felt cold. Since then, I’ve been using my Winter coat again and Madrid remains overcast.

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PS: I’m feeling better, so I decided to end my exile.

I am going to take a rest from Pandemonium. I won’t be writing until the Spring for personal reasons. I need to focus on other things and I need to get my levels of stress down for a while, since I’ve had quite a lot for the past few months (and my body is showing signs of it, of course).

We’ll meet again in a few months. Have a splendid time until then.

P.

I thought times were looking bleak for culture in Spain. Nevertheless, what I just read made me feel totally baffled:

The British Government has removed Winston Churchill from the list of figures to be studied in high school. In the guide companion to the school curriculum, neither Hitler, Stalin, nor Gandhi appear so far. […]

Historia y vida, number 475, page 9

What are they after? Deleting a good chunk of history from the 20th century that explains some of the 21st? Do they mean to forget the Holocaust and the Soviet purges (Stalin was known as “Photoshop’s father”, for he had teams of people devoted to touching up photos to delete the image of those fallen from favor)?

I always thought we were condemned to repeat our errors, but this is far worse. I hope students will get V for Vendetta as mandatory reading, to be able to recognize what they are facing.

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I had a good laugh!

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They say flying has always been one of Man’s dreams. I believe this dream has become smaller with all the technological advances in the 20th century. Nowadays we fly in groups or alone, crossing oceans and continents with surprising ability and speed.

The truth is that we often raise our eyes to the sky following the flight of birds (by the way, a vulture appeared yesterday near Real Madrid’s stadium).

Flying is becoming more of a common place for me. But what truly moves me is the possibility of space, that I’ll never see fulfilled. I often watch Star Trek and I believe what I see for a few seconds.

Same thing happens with Galaxy Quest, a movie that makes me laugh quite a bit and hold my breath in awe when they open doors to send the interstellar pod.

This is just nostalgia for unadulterated spaces.

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